Entry 6

I only came up once this week.  We decided we would do the midterm evaluation that day as well.  Overall, my feedback was very positive.  The biggest criticism I had was that I am sometimes too timid when negotiating.  I also tend to give in too quickly rather than “sitting with the conflict.”  I remember I struggled with similar issues in class.  In one of the personality tests we took, my result was “conflict avoider.”  When negotiations get heated or a conflict escalates my instinct is to pull back and give in to the more aggressive person.  I need to work on maintaining a more confident demeanor and allow both parties to struggle with the problem before I interfere and try to smooth the issues out.

You can be firm and friendly. When someone says, “This is what I’m offering you,” you can answer back, “Where did that figure come from? Out of your head? Give me some standard; I can give in to some good standards if you tell me the market value, or the appraised value of that building, or the price of that stock. I’m not going to give in simply because you asked for more.”

You want to be unconditionally constructive. Even if the opponent is acting emotional, balance the emotion with reason. If they misunderstand you, try to understand them. Even if they’re not listening, consult them on matters that affect them. Even if they’re trying to deceive you, be trustworthy yourself. Even if they’re trying to coerce you, try to persuade them and be open to persuasion. And accept them as worthy of your consideration.